It was nerve-wrecking to have a stern-looking person who knows it all, sitting beside you and watching your every move. I almost died of trembling. About an hour or so before my test, I did a warm-up session with my instructor. Nothing escalates the anxiety more than witnessing people on test making all the major mistakes. I saw two women drivers on test who struggled with the parallel parking - one mounted the curb while driving out, the other hit the curb while reversing. It was no joke because frankly, I was least confident with my parallel parking the whole time.

But alhamdulillah, went through it smoothly. I must say the tester could feel my nervousness and indirectly assisted me in one or two possible mistakes I could've made. He was a malay. Phew, so lucky~! Aaaaaaaand tonight was my first time driving mum's Ford. Omg I think I need more time to get used to the car. I can't be too excited about getting my license. Still have to go through a second TP test, as my friend said. It might take me a few months to gain the adults' trust. Sigh.

I mentioned in my last post that I would share about the dove dad brought back right? Here's the latest update - the bird's gone. It flew out my window last week and it's gone. So, bye birdy~ I disapproved of them 'adopting' you as a pet anyways. Heh. That's all update for now. Tomorrow I'll be out with my girls for a movie. So good night!

This is who I am. I'm never sure of myself at times. I hardly ever make a guess. I appear cheerful at times, but other times I keep my head down in front of others. I speak of what is true, but sometimes I conceal it with lies to avoid disappointment in others. It's hard to say, really. I don't know if it's got to do with my ego,but I find it hard to tell others if I'm upset or disappointed (in them or not). I wouldn't want to cause some sort of a 'ripple effect' to take place. I'd rather let others feel good and just let myself sink in deep into my own little melodrama. But sometimes it comes off as a failure and then I get myself into trouble for that, struggling to find a better way to cover it up. Why must I be born this complicated? I'm sure I'll find someone who has a character that compliments mine. Maybe I haven't felt or seen that yet. But hope is still there.

I realise a lot of changes in me over the past year. I've started to neglect the things I used to enjoy doing which includes sports and music. I haven't put in as much effort to keep myself entertained with the things I love anymore. I used to be able to mix around with all sorts of people and being a type O, I never find trouble engaging with people in different situations. But that has now changed. I can't find myself even saying 'hello' to a stranger I meet at functions or events. Either I'm becoming more cautious of my character, or I'm just absorbing the lessons I've learnt from whatever mistakes from the past. Talk about being comprehensive. I think I've started to 'tone myself down' a little. For a good cause. I think Muslimahs shouldn't be mixing around too much, or having too much 'fun' all the time - I'm just saying. I guess as women grow older we just start to realise how important it is to shape our character from this moment in time in order to have that desired (of course good) future.

We're all gonna be parents one day. And as much as I want things to turn out as perfect as it could, working towards that is never easy. But one thing's for sure we all make mistakes only to be taught something useful which can be applied in future. Think about it. What you are now may be what your kids are gonna be. So you choose; how do you wanna live your life? Sorry if everything in this post barely made sense. Consider the fact that it's almost 3am while I'm typing this out. Have a pleasant night :)

I can't believe 2 weeks have passed since the end of exams. Holiday now seems less fun and joyful unlike last time. I can't believe I haven't had anything planned for the whole month of September. However, I'm lucky enough to have some friends who care to have an outing. That's coming up in the week to come! At least something to look forward to yeah?

I've been rotting at home these past few days. Some days I find some chores to do, but the other days I just sit around filling my stomach with whatever I'm blessed with in the kitchen and that's about it. I realised how such a pig I've become and the thought of working out again keeps popping up every now and then but so far no progress yet. *facepalm & shakes head*

Anyways, I thought of showing off (in a good way) a little because I've been spending hours in front of my lappy today trying to regain and enhance my photoshop skills. I've always enjoyed editing photos, i.e. enhancing the quality and colour etc. It's been YEARS since I last used photoshop for picture editing - I lost the CD ): - so I've been relying on Photoscape all these while until one of my girlfriends gave me a link to download CS3, yay! Here's a before & after photo I edited using photoscape. View of sunrise from my room window. It's not bad, but not as good as photoshop of course.

If you're new to photoshop - that includes me as well right now - there's such a thing called photoshop actions you can download and apply to your photos. That's what I've been doing the whole day. Downloading them and trying them out. I can't find a way to explain what photoshop actions are so I erm..googled it. It's a sequential series of tasks/jobs done to a photo which is saved. So anytime you need to use that effect you had on the photo, you can just click on the play button to get the same effect again. Sounds confusing? Sigh. It is. But it won't hurt to try. I kinda got the hang of it (practiced with the picture at the top).

I guess that's all for share today. My brain is decomposing by the day and I need to find something productive to do ASAP! And just for the record, no, I can't really play the guitar but maybe a song or two. Heh. And it's not mine :D

My beautiful friend (May Allah bless her) shared this video on twitter and prompted me and a few others to watch it till the end. I don't think the video needs any further explanations. Everything and anything taken out from the Quran is indeed the truth which none of us can deny. I think watching this would be a good reminder to us of our purpose of living in this temporary world. Good way to start a post..? Well, self-reflection should be done every night right? :)

So today wasn't much of a thrill to me because I had (and still have) to live with migraine attacks since morning. Probably due to..erm..the long chat I had with a friend over the phone last night. *peace^^V* I was alarmed first thing in the morning (technically, afternoon cos I woke up at 12) when I was told some friends were coming over. I initially planned to have my own little shopping spree alone earlier today, but had to stay for a while to entertain some precious guests. Such a pleasure having them. :)

But as soon as each and everyone left, I got my hijab on and went out to Geylang with my grandparents. It was pretty last minute. Heh. The plan was to buy this particular type of shawl I wanted but I had a hard time finding it and bought something else instead. Gonna have to go back to get the one I'm eyeing for sometime.. Other than that short visit to Gaylang.. I mean Geylang.. I experienced a bit of lightheadedness while in the car and insisted that we went home straight. Or else I would've dropped by Causeway Point to carry out some things that were needed to be done. But that didn't work out, oh well.

And despite the headache still drumming in my head, why am I still awake you may ask? I was supposed to call a friend much earlier which didn't happen. So I'm practically left hanging cos my friend fell asleep while waiting and I feel so terrible right now. :S But there's always tomorrow right? Sorry I had to keep you waiting. But you should be sleeping anyway! And that applies to myself as well. Just for tonight, I'll end the post as it is. Good night!

During the peak of my youthful years - I'm not saying it's over yet :D - I've probably met all sorts of guys whom I have considered to be that 'perfect fit' but almost all of them proved otherwise. Let's be honest, I've only had 2 serious relationships and the rest were just wishful thinking on my part (and the guys'). One day I was wondering why I can't seem to find the 'right guy'. I'm not saying the guy has to be perfect (we all know there's no such thing) ..but all I need is someone who understands me, knows when he's needed and how he can help make situations better for me.

A few months back, I had a good long chat with an old friend. So I was explaining to him how my fickle mind's starting to take a toll on me. I naturally find faults in men and leave them when the feeling's not right. It's happened quite a few times after my last relationship. His reply to me was something I had never really thought about. According to him, it wasn't because my mind was playing tricks on me and what-not..but it's because every time I experience something new, I learn from them and then try to comprehend. When that happens, my expectations gradually rises as time goes by.. In conclusion, everybody just understands themselves better and learns to find things that fit their wants/needs as close to their requirements as possible. That's reality.

I'm sorry if I just confused you with whatever I said in the previous paragraph. But what I'm trying to say is..only time will tell who's the perfect one for you. You don't search for it. It comes to you naturally and when you least expect it. Now, with all that said...have I met my Mr.Right yet? :P I'll let time and God to decide and let me know about it when the time's right :)